Mom

I'm not sure where to start.
On February 2nd at about 10:50pm. I lost the most wonderful woman I've ever met. My Mom. She was my best friend, my counselor and my go to gal when things were out of the norm. I loved-love her with all my heart. She and I had a relationship I wish every daughter, or child could have with their Mom. She was my everything. She and I shared stories, our lives and everything. I wish every mother and daughter could experience a relationship like ours. She truly cared for me, and for Ava and Phil too. She had so much love. She gave of herself like no other. She gave of her "healthy" life to care for Ava instead of sorting through her books which I know she wanted to do since I was small.


My Mom was diagnosed in 2007 with Lupus, Scleroderma and Diverticulitis. They gave her three years to live. My mom had a majority of her colon removed from the Diverticulitis. She had a really rough recovery. While in the hospital she was over medicated. When she got home she had a yeast infection in most of the common areas, upper legs, chest and arm pits. My dad did such a wonderful job treating her and taking care of her. He was awesome. I was able to visit and help out for a bit, but my dad was great!


In November 2008 and bought a house just down the street from us in Sparks, Nevada. A week after they started moving their stuff up here, I found out I was pregnant!


My mom was still doing ok. She had rough days but at that time there were more good days than bad. She was able to move a lot. She loved moving her boxes. She loved her sheds. She loved her storage units (yes...my mom had TONS of stuff).
In July 2009 Phil and I were blessed with a little girl.


My mom stayed with me the in the hospital. It was one of the best nights of my life. We stayed up most of the night talking about Ava. Her life, how blessed we were to have her in our lives, how incredibly cute she was! We were like giggly little schools girls on a sleep over! Mom held Ava often. We certainly had fun that night.
After Ava was born. I spend the first couple of weeks mostly at my parents house. It was really helpful. I enjoyed it.

When it was time for me to return to work, my parents took care of Ava. They sent me pictures, they took her on day trips. When my mom became really ill, my dad took over most of the care. He would spend hours taking her on outings around town, especially to Costco.


Towards the end of summer, just after Ava's first birthday we had to find more permanent care for Ava. My mom was too sick, and my dad was taking care of my mom.
This fall my mom had more bad days than good days. Around Thanksgiving she started spending more and more time in bed. She complained of pain ALL the time. The week before Christmas she was in the hospital for a week. Then 4 days around MLK's birthday weekend she was in the hospital again.


At this point she hadn't eaten food since Novemberish.
Then on February 1st my mom complained of being in a lot of pain. She was supposed to start Hospice on February 2nd and go to the hospital for a class on one of her medications. My Dad and I convinced her to go to the hospital that night (February 1st) since she was in so much pain. She also couldn't move on her own either. My dad and I had to get her from the chair to the bed she was sleeping in. So we called an ambulance (per her request). So the firemen came, and the paramedics too.
On February 2nd she went back in for surgery. Apparently she didn't look great before going into surgery. They put several pints of blood in her plus some plasma. She went into surgery and they found that the scleroderma was worse than predicted. When they did the surgery they found her stomach had molded itself together, it was kinked like a hose so nothing could get through. No food, no medication or anything.
Then they found that her colon lining was thinned to the point that there were holes so her bowels were going throughout her body.
That night, she didn't wake from surgery.
February 2nd I lost my best friend in the world to Scleroderma.
Everyday I miss my mom. Every morning and every night Ava says hello and goodnight to her Me-Ma.
My life has changed. It will not be the same without my mom. Most days I feel lost.