Finding the yellow brick road....

I made have made a few posts on Facebook...or for those of you who know me all too well, this story may be something of the past.

But over the past few months since my mom has passed. My life has been an earth quake followed by many, many after shocks.

Not only was my mom my best friend, she was my life line. She was my last call, my go to gal, and the air I breathe. If I had any questions or concerns I called her. So needless to say...I called her at least 5 times a day, even when she lived less than 3 miles from my house. If I was feeling ill, and debated about going to work or staying home, guess who I called? If I applied for a job, I called her not only for reassurance to see if that was the right thing to do, but to help with my resume etc.
By now, you probably get how vital my mom was in my life.
She wasn't just my mom, she was EVERYTHING.

These past several months have been complicated, complex and full of anxiety.
Learning to live, make decisions for myself, finding myself, making life altering changes that have changed the entire way that Phil, Ava and I live, have been hard. I keep back tracking, wondering if I have made the right decisions, and wondering what comes next.
Part of it is denial. Not that the obvious has occurred, but part of me can't handle the actual fact that my mom is gone.

While my mind is still trying to process this, almost 7 months later, I now feel like I'm making some progress.
I am out of my comfort zone. Completely out of my comfort zone.
I am now going to school. Something I wasn't sure if I would ever do since I couldn't decide on a Masters program.
I am completely involved in Truckee Meadows Promotionals. While there are some changes that are occurring, I'm mostly behind the scenes doing the Admin/ Reconstruction. Believe me, when I say its not easy. I've never been involved in a business but now being in charge of a restructuring of a small business I'm learning a lot more than I ever thought.

Getting my Masters in Business Administration will help me out more than I ever thought.

I'm still not sure of the direction I'm going. I still am trying to balance everything else out. Time with Ava, time with Phil. figuring out how to clean the house to make myself sane. And homework. Oh the home work.

My life has been an after shock. I almost feel like I work more now that I'm home than I did when I was actually working.
When I go to bed, my brain is still thinking up new ideas for Truckee Meadows Promotionals.

No one takes my mom's place. I now make my own decisions (along side my husband of course!), some of them, I'm still not sure about but just keep going forward and know that I know my mom would be happy with me returning to school and having a little more time with Ava. Its been a good combo.

I'm aware the aftershocks will continue...but all I can do is the best that I can.