Not sure where this entry should go....

Like the title says, I'm really not sure where this entry should go. All my emotions for the past year have finally caught up with me. Phil is doing so much better and is now up for the call of duty of "Dad". He has done amazing the past few weeks stepping up to help with Ava. He even stayed up with Ava most of the night when she got sick and he even tucked me into bed. This week I've faced reality. With all the roles I've taken on over the past year, Mom, "Dad", Wife, Caretaker, Daughter etc etc etc. I've done it all. Now I'm having trouble letting go. Phil is willing to take Ava more often, but now I have attachment issues. I'm a control freak. If I'm not driving, I freak out. Now that we are doing more things as a family instead of Mom and daughter, its hard for me to get past that point and get past all my control issues. I've even picked up food as my scape goat. I eat and eat and eat. Its been a rough week. I feel bad for Ava. I know she needs more time with her dad. I'm just used to doing everything without Phil so its been a hard adjustment for my brain to adjust to adding one more to our outtings or find stuff for us ALL to enjoy not just what I think Ava will want to do. What a week. Broken. Crumbled. I'm going to be re-born. A better person, who can take it on without feeling so overwhelmed.