Just putting it out on the table.

I am human. Over the last year and a half I've had to deal with things I never ever thought I'd have to deal with. I've sat with my mom in ER not knowing if she would make it through the night. I took my mom to her last doctors appointment. I asked the hard questions. I sat there with my mom the night before she passed holding her hand telling her how much I loved her and how much I appreciated everything she's ever done for me. I called an ambulance to take her away. I was there when she didn't wake. I held her hand and hugged her as she passed away. A few months later my husband became too sick to work. He could hardly get out of bed. I sat with him stroking his hair, holding his hand. Scheduling doctors appointments and taking him to his tests. At appointments I asked the hard questions "Is it cancer" "Does he have to live with this the rest of his life?" "How is he supposed to work when he can't even stand up without turning three different shades of green and white?" I've spent nights reading with Ava, and doing projects. I've been an "only parent" for a while. This summer. I became human. My outward shell has been shed. I cry when no one is watching. I ball up and wonder "why did this happen to me? My mom was supposed to be here for this and my husband is supposed to be at my side?" I became human. Each day I appreciate all that I have. The time I have with my husband, no matter how its spent (usually watching him try and sleep), the time I have with my daughter (while trying not to get too frustrated with the attitude that comes along with being 3), and remembering that family is only a click or phone call away.

Time for a quick update

Hello! Its time for a quick update. Ava is doing fantastic! This week at gymnastics she kind of showed off her stuff (flipping on the bars, climbing like no other, somersault after somersault so the teachers and I decided together that its time for her to move up! She will be with the 3.5-5 year olds! OMG! I'm nervous but Ava is doing such a great job with gymnastics. She conquers everything she sets out to do (probably gets that from her dad). This week her favorite book is Pinkalicious. Last night she read almost the entire book back to me word for word. When we wait around, we pick up magazines and look through the pages, we point out items we know (umbrellas, shoes, boys, girls, mom's, dad's, dogs, cats, backpacks, computers, video games, cell phones etc). She does a really good job doing that. We've been back to walking with the neighbor, Ava loves her little neighbor boy friend. They have a great time walking together. Ava is doing ok at school. Some listening issues this week. Tomorrow is Ava's last day of swimming. She is really bummed out. I think she really likes the swimming class. Unfortunately I think she will have to wait another year to get in the next class. She has to be able to stand at the shallow end of the pool to progress, she is several inches too short to be able to do that just yet. Naps have been hit and miss. Today must have really hit her hard because she napped for 4.5 hours at the every end of the day. Here it is almost 11pm and she is still awake. Anyways, just a quick update.

Quotes

This is just a blog of Ava quotes "I'm Ava. What's your problem?" "We go to dancing class on Saturday, because I'm beautiful" "Lay down mom. I turned off the dang light." "Where is my princess dress?" "Mom, I want to learn guuuutar" "Can I ride a motorcycle?" "We go to dancing class on Saturday" "We have water play day after morning" In Ava's preschool class they ask each child a question This weeks question: What do you find in the sky? Ava's answer: kitties, clouds

Time for an update!

Ava is officially 3! And boy how she has blossomed in the past several weeks. Talking, singing, sing-talking, repeating everything (for example books, that we read the night before, she will recite on the way to school). Favorite book this week: Duckling Gets a Cookie - if you haven't read it, its hilarious! Favorite show on TV: Gumball (if you haven't seen it, please don't look it up). Favorite activity: Reading Favorite food: This week its hard to say, we had a sick episode which put us back in the saddle a tad bit. But she tried sushi yesterday, she liked the cucumber salad and edamame. Favorite drink: Water What impressed me the most this week: We looked through photo albums Ava was able to point out "Gingka" (my dad), "Me-Ma" (my mom), and "Nanna" (my Grandmother) without me having to point to the picture that they were in. Ava still likes to sort. Oh my gosh! She lines up rocks, she lines up colors, shapes, shoes. One morning I went in her room she changed her diaper by herself and lined up all 5 dirty diaper in a row. Ava had her 3 year check up on July 30. 24.2 lbs 35.2 inches She is healthy and is ALMOST on the chart for weight! She gained 1 whole pound in the last 3 months! Wahoo! Developing normally. Ava got strep throat (for the third time this year) on Thursday. She stayed home with us on Friday and was well enough to start her swim class on Saturday. Those are all the updates for now. I'm sure I'll write another blog with funny Ava quotes later on.